Monday, October 04, 2004

My Dilemma

It seems as though people are saying that we are on our way to becoming a developed nation and all that hoo-hah. But how is that possible when as a nation we still have the 'old' stigmas of race and religion?

Being born a malay automatically makes me a muslim. There was no choice in that matter. I was never asked as I came out of my mother's womb

"so what religion do u wanna be?"

Seeing that most of my friends fall in the category of being non-malay some problems arise for me. Well, seeing that I don't really hang around people my own race means I happen to be attracted to girls that are non-malay. But this is where the problem lies. It might be fine and dandy to be friends with a malay, but once the inkling of affection creeps in that has nothing to do with just meeting for drinks and such, the ugly head of racism rears its ugly head. Through various discussions with some of my peers the concensus is that the idea of converting is a daunting prospect to any non-malay.

After getting to know me i have to admit that some members of the opposite sex have tried to put that fact aside (through constant reassurance that I would not be staying in Malaysia for ever and thus they wouldnt have to convert if things got any more serious than just the casual relationship.) But then what normally happens is that even though the girls are comfortable with the fact, their friends decide to butt in and start questioning her racial integrity.

"why are u dating a malay guy?"

"what's wrong with dating one of us?"

The list goes on and in the end they fall prey to the constant barrage and the relationship ends abruptly oftimes with there being no future communication whatsoever and leaving me hanging in the wind to pick up the pieces...

There was one exception to this though. She ignored all the jeering from her friends and familly and we dated for almost 7 years. Things were getting pretty serious till i made the cardinal mistake all men make. I wanted more. I don't have to go into the details but we ended up going our seperate ways. That was something i regretted doing, and even now i know that i let someone who was 'special' go.

Currently I will just wait and see what happens and hope that things change. Maybe I'll hook up with the one that got away. Who knows?


Blogger burn666 said...

Lol! Good post! Welcome to the world of blogging Gib... ;)

Lemme put a link to your blog on my site for future ref - maybe snag you some female readers... ;) ;)

October 4, 2004 at 10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm... why is it that you don't really hang around people your own race? Would it also be a preference of yours to only date non malays?

October 6, 2004 at 11:47 AM  
Blogger cheesynoob said...

It's not that I specifically date non-malays. In actual fact i have dated a malay girl. It's just that since the crown i hang out with is mostly non-malays i don;t really get the chance to meet any

October 6, 2004 at 6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess everyone's entitled to their own opinion, but if you take the easy way out, don't want to make the effort to approach the racial barrier you put in place with the people of your own race, then there is no one else to blame. Make the effort!

October 13, 2004 at 11:45 PM  
Blogger burn666 said...

Update you lazy git!!! ;p

October 15, 2004 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger Spacemonkey said...

Spend more time around Hartamas or KLCC, so many hot malay girls... mmmmm... *drooling noise*

October 16, 2004 at 3:05 PM  
Blogger Son Of A Cow said...

The one hit wonder of blogs.

October 28, 2004 at 11:35 AM  
Blogger cheesynoob said...

Ok i thought i should post a response to quell the people out there waiting for my 2nd installment of my ranting and ravings....

The 2nd one is taking a bit longer to write...ok.....maybe its the procrastinator in me but its on the me XD

October 29, 2004 at 8:37 PM  
Blogger Morpheus said...

Ok, I'll start by responding to your main comments...

In respect to the development of Malaysia many may claim that things are progressing - very true. The issue that one has to realise is that the transition or adaptivity of thought is a much longer and painful process. Tradition, constraints/ beliefs of society and fear of retribution (possibly by one's own family) are things that anchor people and restricts evolution of thought.

The stigmas of race and religion have always been very apparent in Msia - how many readers can remember growing up hearing derogatory comments regarding other races from friends or family? In it's own depiction it may seem wrong but at least the facade of political correctness is not as prevalent - PC - something which I believe is a farce.

As for choice of religion - everybody has a choice. Unfortunately, the choice may have to involve a lot of thought, effort and possible relocation due to the structure and dictation of the country. I believe one should not ever question one's race or colour, but religion has always been a topic of debate since the beginning of civilisation.

Backward thought is so apparent in people who bear animosities towards one's religion or race. Again, it is for you to decide who are the people what you are willing to consider mates. Being in London, the idea of being treated differently because I am not caucasian has crossed my mind... but then again it is something one deals with - making choices of mates, partner and company. The amazing friends I have and success with women have shown me that it is only as bad as you let it be.

Back to people commenting about your background - would it be possible that these people show that u have not found the right one? People many times forget that it is who one is that is the importance instead of basing ideas on superficial values.

All I can say my friend that things like this incense me.. I wish you the best of luck with the ladies. Also, you'll never know what may happen - you may have already found the woman of your dreams.

Comments to MR Anonymous

Surely you jest? Assimilation and open mindedness is integral for progress. And pray tell how u have deduced that this chap has placed racial barriers up against his own people?

Comment RE: spacemonkey
LISTEN to this man... he seems to know the score ;) (love the drooling fx dude heheh)

December 9, 2004 at 12:51 AM  
Blogger cheesynoob said...

spacemonkey, morpheus is a very good pal of mine that ive known for almost 10yrs now :P i think he knows me inside out. the good and the bad.... he writes pretty good tho. morph get ur blog site up and running matey!

December 13, 2004 at 2:45 PM  
Blogger Spacemonkey said...

Usually, "the score" is something of which I know absolutely nothing. But goddamn if I don't know a hot malay chick when I see one ;)

December 20, 2004 at 7:25 PM  
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